Celeste

The nonexistence of the alter personality. Its beginning to have its moment of sunshine. Releasing pieces of the whole. Smiling becomes so much easier and my intelligence seems more significant. Maybe it was me all along. I believe it is. Slithering through my veins seeping deeper to relieve itself. This personality was who I was meant to be. Life is all about creating myself. What a lifetime of enjoyment. I'm closer and closer to leaving the past behind. Although at times weak for the back button. But let the fire burn out. It's a new chapter in the journey. So, let the true personality loose because you're now living and learning. It's who you always been. It just takes time to demolish the coping mechanism and be true to who you are.

Stand Still

That moment of clarity. That moment when suddenly everything you had been searching for is now found. Oh the feeling, just blissful. Your eyes are drooling over every beautiful sight and sound. This moment seems to define every ounce of my being. The person I truly am is hidden beneath these many layers of skin, reaching and climbing to release itself. This is the moment of clarity. When I am released. This moment seems to never last. Maybe for ten minutes, thirty minutes, or even an hour. But never forever. This moment I try to capture by drinking relaxing tea and sit in complete silence. However, this moment seems to drift away with every breathe I take. If only it would last. I would not feel so lost any more. Because clearly, I have been lost long before I knew it. One day I dream that this moment of clarity will no longer be a moment but just me living.

And there it is!

Time flies by with no time to breath. My past is what I lean on cause the good of it brings me joy. I may have changed yes, but its part of the process of finding me. I'm a procrastinator with dreams bigger than the world can handle. And let me inform you I will make it and your help isn't needed. so cheers to this glorious moment that I realized that finding myself is harder than I thought.